Meet Mona even though she'd rather you left her alone

[Deleted]

Salutations. I'm Mona and I don't know how many of you already know me. My age range is approximately 6mths - 804yrs, pronouns are she and her. Two people asked me to and so I went all flattered and also couldn't resist the chance to BEAT THE salsa OUT OF BOTH OF THEM. I'm not here to make friends or to win since I'm very lazy. Sam tells me Big Zort responded to his introductory post and I'll be very insulted if he doesn't say something in response to mine as well. My ankle itches today. 

[Zort]

You're perfect, you're beautiful, you look like Bigfoot, did you grow that moustache? Oh, your smile is beautiful!